Jesus set me free from my addiction - pornography!

I am a married male and would like to share my testimony with other men in particular.

I have been married for 17 years and our marriage changed since the day our first were born. My wife did not give me the attention that I as a man needed, the baby came first. She was always to tiered due to lack of sleep.

As all men would know, to have intercourse is one of our main thing that we live for, I use to say that the animal in me also need to be fed! Boy do I hate those words now!

My wife and I use to argue more about intercourse, than anything else in our entire marriage. She made me feel as if I wasn't needed by her any more since we had our baby. 2 Years after the first born, she fell pregnant again and things just got worse. Now she had 2 children that needed her attention and she became even more withdrawn from me.

This is where I had my first introduction with pornography. I use to watch it in the toilet, in my car, at work, any place where I could be alone to enjoy what my flesh needed. In the meantime our marriage became more of a hassle than a blessing, I use to dream about what I was watching! When my wife and I did have intercourse it was boring, I wanted what I saw in the videos, I needed to have wild sex, not this lovemaking business that was happening in out bed! I suggested things to my wife that she would not accept, and out marriage became more an "argument" than a marriage.

We decided that we needed to seek God for guidance in our marriage and joined a church close to our house. For a while things were going better, we could talk to each other like human beings, but I still longed for the kind of sex I was still watching porn on my phone, I needed more!

One day I realised that I was addicted to porn, I could not go one day without watching porn! I realized that it has became a problem for me. Being a regular church goer it started to make me feel guilty after I watched it, but still I struggled to stop watching it.

One day in church service the Minister were bring a message about the sins of the flesh. I am sure I was blushing, This message was as if  our Minister know what I was doing. He ended the sermon off with these words "Would you bring porn to the church and watch it here, or do you think that would be wrong?"

I went home after the service and confessed to my wife, I asked her forgiveness and made a promise to her that I would never watch it again. My wife was at first very upset and walked away from me. I went to the bedroom and prayed for guidance how to resolve this problem which was now out of control. I just finished praying and my wife walked into the bedroom. She made a suggestion that left me breathless. She suggested that we leave the children with her parents from time to time and spend more quality time together, she apologised to ME for not being there for me as a wife. There words shocked me! It was as if I saw my wife for the first time in years. Here she was standing, the most beautiful woman I know, and she is apologising to me as if SHE did something wrong! For the first time I realized that my wife was tiered, that she was the one who looked after the children, doing the cleaning, running the household and where was I? I was so busy being selfish that I could not see that she needed my help as her husband.

I want to send this message to all men out there. Appreciate the woman that God gave you, love her with all your heart, support her with the children, forget about your own needs and look at your wife through Jesus's eyes. God gave her to you to appreciate,  love and to support.

Our marriage today is so blessed, and I have to give thanks to the Lord who opened my eyes in time, before the enemy could steal more from us.

Be blessed in the name of Jesus

Deel asb jou getuienis met ons oor hoe Jesus jou gehelp het, Skryf aan belindapaar@gmail.com Jy kan jou getuienis ook annoniem deel. Jesus gee ons opdrag om van Hom te getuig. Heb 2:3-4

Oorwinningsliefde in Jesus

2 SAM 22:4  Ek roep die HERE aan wat lofwaardig is, en van my vyande word ek verlos.

2 SAM 22:5  Want die golwe van die dood het my omring, strome van onheil het my oorval.

2 SAM 22:6  Bande van die doderyk het my omring, strikke van die dood het my teëgekom.

2 SAM 22:7  Toe ek benoud was, het ek die HERE aangeroep, en ek het geroep tot my God; en uit sy paleis het Hy my stem gehoor, en my hulpgeroep was in sy ore.